Where was I for the past Billion Years?

This is a question that really affects me. Where was I for the billion years of infinity before I came into what I know as my life? It's very bizarre. As far as I know, the universe existed for a very long time before I came into existence. Why is it that I don't have any recollection of anything during all that time of existence?

A big thing to consider about this is whether or not that time actually existed. I mean that time is a very peculiar thing. We all sense it -at least we think we sense it. But there is nothing but a never ending now. There is only the "now" of now.

Ok, the really big question is " When I die, will I go back to that same place I was in for the billion years that I don't remember"?

Harrowing thought.

Endless strains of meaningless crap

I have three thoughts for you today.

It is an absolutely beautiful day here in New England, even a bit blustery. The trees are giving up the last of their colored leaves and winter is being prepared for. These three thoughts came to me during my walk.

First thought: Why is it that thoughts come so easily to me when I walk? I don't think this is just peculiar to me. I think it is a human thing. We walk and think. They seem to go very well together. The simple act of walking gently invigorates the mind. And, it's funny how people don't walk like they used to walk. Everybody drives. Kind of a shame. This theme reminds me of a short essay I wrote entitled: A Walk in the Snickering rain.

Second thought: This one addressess the title of this post. We, as humans, occupy ourselves with an awful lot of stuff. I mean that there are endless strains of amusements and thoughts and other things. We seem to spend a lot of time on things that aren't really important. Seriously. Why do we waste so much of our lives on things that don't matter? You know what I am talking about. You do it too. We all do it - spend an inordinate amount of time and energy on things that matter so little - car, tv, bills, what people think, things, on and on and on and on. When it comes down to it what is really important?
Now before you say "Family". I just want to say what about the big question? What the heck is this all about? Doesn't anybody spend any time on that?
In any pursuit one of the most important things you have to ask yourself is "What is my outcome?" It is important to ask yourself this question so you can get a clear grasp of what you are doing, why you are doing it and how you should do it.
Doesn't this apply to life too? Whats your outcome?

Thought three: I am really stuck on the whole subject of Michael Crichton. I have been an admirer of his for most of my life and I can't get over his death. He was a life long learner and explorer- not just a writer. He explored life on many different levels and he laid this out in his book "Travels". In that book he talks about his travels through life both external and internal. He lays out his attempts to explain the unexplained. Well, this got me thinking that maybe there are clues in that book. I am going to have to re-read it and see what comes. Maybe he laid out a way to contact him after he passed. Interesting thought.