It burns within me

It burns within me; the desire to know. It dances in circles around my senses, teasing me, close within my grasp. But I feel that the more I learn the less I know.

I feel that as I grow larger in learning I grow closer to less, and closer to knowing.
It's a delicious yet scary enigma.

Where was I for the past Billion Years?

This is a question that really affects me. Where was I for the billion years of infinity before I came into what I know as my life? It's very bizarre. As far as I know, the universe existed for a very long time before I came into existence. Why is it that I don't have any recollection of anything during all that time of existence?

A big thing to consider about this is whether or not that time actually existed. I mean that time is a very peculiar thing. We all sense it -at least we think we sense it. But there is nothing but a never ending now. There is only the "now" of now.

Ok, the really big question is " When I die, will I go back to that same place I was in for the billion years that I don't remember"?

Harrowing thought.

To Bahai or not Bahai

I have had this book for years, nay decades and it remains one of my favorites simply because of the profundity offered inside. You have never read a book like this. It takes a child-like wonderment look at it all.

A Note to Guy Murchie: If you are out there somewhere, or in there somewhere, or around here somewhere, or still exist in some shape or form of thought or being and you can hear me then I want to say thanks for this wonderful gift of a book:

The Seven Mysteries of Life

There is great love here for you, we are complete.

This is quite possibly the most profound 2 minutes I have ever come unto...

Sunder Warumbe

Wouldn't it be great if some wise old man just handed you the answer?

It hasn't happened to me, and well I am not saying that it happened to anyone but I want to tell you a story out of one of my favorite books. The book is called "The Art of Looking Sideways" and it's not a novel. It's more of a creative, thinking resource for seeing things. This is a big book and I have been slowly savoring it for a couple of years now. It's not something you rush through.

Anyway here is story by the author that crosses two pages of the book:

" I was working on an exhibition about the creative discoveries and technological inventions of the twentieth century. One day an unsavoury disheveled stranger suddenly barged into the studio, said he'd heard about the project, wanted to be involved, slapped a diagram down on the table, and shouted at me, 'that's what it's all about,' and left. I never saw him again. This is the diagram. Maybe he was right?"

This is an interesting image and if you want to examine it more closely I have a bigger version posted to my website here: The Chart of Meaning

Follow the Feedback to find the answer

The most important part of any system is the feedback. This applies to everything from a corporation to a society to a machine, a computer, an ecosystem and simply every system. This feedback is necessary to keep the system running the way it is meant to run. A poignant example of this is a favorite project of mine (it's not my project, I just mean that it is a project that I am following). It is the project of the clock of the long now. It is a clock that will continue to mark time for ten thousand years. And it will give a different series of chimes each day for these ten thousand days! It is quite a human endeavor and a wonderful way to think about time. But the real purpose of me mentioning this is that in order for this clock to stay on time for 10,000 years it has to have some kind of a feedback system that will keep it in proper step. This clock will use the position of the sun as feedback to stay in sync with its goal which is to count and chime the days accurately for 10,000 years. (which is 3 million, six-hundred and fifty-two thousand and five hundred days.

Ok, now I have made my point about feedback and now we can apply this to the mystery of life, the universe, the creator and the whole kit and kaboodle. The universe is replete with examples of circles within circles that mimic each other and follow the same rules. So, is it so far-fetched to think that the biggest system, the grandest system, the system that wraps around all other systems, also uses feedback? It seems to make sense to me.

So, to find the answer you have to figure out what the feedback stream is and follow it back to the decision maker that makes adjustments according to the information provided by the feedback.

An argument against this:

Well, you might be saying that the whole system is perfection and perfection requires no feedback. And this is true, a perfect system would require no feedback because nothing needs to be tweaked, modified or changed - it is perfect. But to this I would say couldn't feedback simply be another part of the perfect system?

If you have any thoughts on this let me know and if you have a hunch or idea about what the feedback stream might be let me know, we could trace it back to the source of all.

What there "Should" Be

If you really try to clear your mind and give it some thought you come to the realization that there should be absolutely nothing. And I don't mean the nothingness of space or the nothingness of a vacuum. I mean absolute and utter nothingness. There are no words that can describe what should be. Void? nope. desolation? nope. Emptiness? not good enough.

When you have a complete and utter nothingness there is absolutely nothing. So from there we can have no impetus for anything. No impetus for thoughts, things, stars, creation, candy apples, postcards, or grape vines.

Impetus is something and you can't get something from nothing. Yet.........

I can't deny that I am pretty sure there is something. It's actually quite remarkable, miraculous, spectacular, awe-inspiring, humbling, and mind boggling -that instead of a big nothingness (Scratch that, I can't use the word "big" implies a size of nothingness and nothingness is nothing; there is no size).

And, the remarkable thing about this lack of nothing is that the something is so beautiful in its variety and in its intent. It really boggles my mind.

Just sit down for a minute and think about what is instead of what should be.

If you can feel it you will come to understand why I am on my quest. Why is there something? What is the meaning of it? And what is the purpose of it -this lack of nothing?

So where is this mysterious thing?

A few weeks ago I had a cat-scan of my head done. It was an interesting process and I brought a camera with me. I had the tech take pictures of me inside the machine and it was pretty cool. He laughed. I also requested all the results from the scan and the software to run it. I got all that stuff and it's pretty cool. I can scan through my brain looking at all the different levels and well.. its rather baffling, intriguing and interesting.

So this is the machine that changes the world? Or is this the translator that translates the world into something that I can understand. Or is this is the thing that gathers information, changes it into electrical impulses, then assembles it into concepts.

Anyway, What I really wanted to say was that if you ever ask a person to point at themselves they invariably point at their heart. Yet if you ask a person where their soul is they invariably point to their head. Interesting.

Well, I took a really hard look at my brain scan and I couldn't find a soul. Not even a hint of one. But then again what does a soul look like? Here, you take a look and let me know if you can find it.

This is a screenshot from the scan of my actual skull. Am I, the thing that is I, the I that I am, In there somewhere?